Attention, fellow part-time employees of the Ichihara Yuuko wish-granting shop.
We would like to remind you that an employee skills seminar will take place this Friday at 8pm at the Platnauer Room of Brasenose College. Topics will include
- "Identity theft: keeping your true name secret" (host: Ryuuzaki)
- Complicated love triangles as a motivator for superior performance, or "please don't hold me back a year!" (host: Harima Kenji)
- Changing careers in the private sector (host: Okajima Rokuro)
And a special presentation on dealing with conflict in the workplace by Kiryuu Nanami and her charming assistant Chu-Chu. Audience members in the front rows are reminded that they may get wet, and should take advantage of our bloodstain-removal deal after the seminar's conclusion.
Failure to attend will lead to an unsatisfactory mark on your employment record, followed by a one-way trip through an interdimensional portal.
Alexei Stephenson
OAV Head of Human Resources
P.S. I HATE YOU, GROUPSPACES! This e-mail was meant to be about the first week meeting, but it saved it as a draft instead of sending, and didn't tell me.
Manage
E-mail: [OAV] Next Meeting