Here are 12 ways I have used to rebuild my life after devastation. Realize you are not alone and that love comes to you.
It’s not enough for people to say they are sorry and other sympathises after a dreadful event like a fire that has destroyed your life. Inside the pain is over whelming and you just feel that you can’t go on. Rebuilding is hard especially when you feel so depressed but it can be done! The first thing now is to take stock of your life. The internet is the best place to start
Just like this bird you are beautiful!!
Here are some hints I have collected in rebuilding my life:
1.Realize that you are loved
2.The world feels with you but can do little to help unless you let them
3.Make a list of what you need and in the order of how important it is to you.
4.Finding somewhere to live
1.Make sure it is warm by using newspaper and cardboard on the ground
2.Make sure the side close up all around
3.If it is thin you can create more insulation by being closer together
4.Stay away from the sides. Because when you touch it you let in the cold. If you have newspaper or extra blankets create walls inside with them.
B.Rebuilding your damaged home
1.Begin the process by separating and piling what is not usable in a place it can be cleared by waste collection
2.Keep all pieces of wood etc that are over a meter as material to rebuild. I have found smaller pieces annoying.
3.Began to design your new home even if it is in your head.
C.Mostly family will come to the help with this but sometimes they don’t for various reasons. You will get through it. It’s not easy but there are places that will help.
1.Over 60’s old age homes supplied by church’s and NGO’s
2.Under 60’s community work centres where you offer your help or ability in exchange for a roof over your head and food on the table.
5.Clothes – donations of clothes is not an easy choice. We all like stuff that is comfortable to us. We feel itchy and irritable in perceived other people’s clothes. Here you just have to bite the bullet and yes you can be choosy. The most important thing is to plan your week of clothes. What will you wear on Monday, Tuesday etc and make sure you have something for the foot, the backside and the top with a warm covering, socks and panties. Then you will be ok. One week of clothing can lead to a rebuild of your wardrobe and a personality change.
6.Food in a disaster is the hardest thing to keep going even with donations as there are so many to feed. You have a right to be fed. Bread will make most of your meals with a cup of something to drink. It is up to you to improve your diet. How I overcame this problem was to introduce pap as a staple:
A.For breakfast I had it as a soft porridge or stiff with milk and sugar
1.For lunch it was made in the soft hard variety with a nice gravy
2.For dinner it was a little harder and vegetable stew added
B.Then I began to add rice and experimented with rice:
3.pilaff (mixed with egg and veg)
4.starchy with gravy
C.The most important food is vegetables
1.Potatoes are expensive and should be used sparingly
2.Onions are very important for variety and taste
3.Carrots should be used grated, sliced or whole for almost everything
4.Tomatoes add flavour and gravy
5.Leeks and leafy veg bulk the meal and add essential nutrients. They can be cooked or served raw. Yes even lettuce but you probably will get more spinach and cabbage.
6.Pumpkins are best. Butternut can be used as a bulk, flavour or roasted. It adds flavour and nutrients. They keep longer as well.
9.In a fire or flood you probably lost a lot of possessions which you will never get back so the last thing you want to do is dwell on it. So start planning a new look for your life. I was an antique dealer who lost everything and with my new plan I became a press mogul. I live simpler and my writing has become the most important thing. Should the press no longer interest me then I will choose something else which will challenge me and build a new dream. It is hard but you will make it and feel revived. Here are some suggestions
A. Become a teacher. It need not be formal education unless you have the qualifications. Schools are always looking for relief teachers. You can teach anything that you have done well in your life from how to dress to how to paint or build complicated machines. Some schools will even allow you to hire a classroom to work in after hours.
B.Become a service provider – dog walker, errand runner, gardener, cook etc
C.Become a consultant. Not everyone knows what you know. Find what you know more than anyone else about and spend time become an expert at it.
10.Get involved. Keeping away from sad thoughts and depression is very difficult and helping others is the best remedy. At one stage I was so busy helping others I forgot about myself. However I was surviving and found I had built myself a new life.
11.Believe in your GOD…
A.Go to church it uplifts you
B.Go to healing it purifies you
C.Go to after service tea it shares you
D.Go to praise it makes you feel better
12.Lots of love and time to yourself brings you close to nature and you begin to see you new life. Dont be burden on anyone as they may be going through their own nightmare.